In a world that is so socially connected, it’s difficult not to catch yourself sizing yourself up to others.
Do You Have Obsessive Comparison Disorder?
“A flower does not think of competing to the flower next to it, it just blooms.”
In our current health climate, facing COVID-19, we have all been blessed with the beautiful gift of spaciousness. My initial thoughts were “wooohoooo! I’m totally going to get to all the tasks I have been putting on the back burner done”… ie: website updates, writing content, taxes, building the visions for my future and the list goes on and on… I thought this was going to be a prolific time of global conscious awakening (which I believe it will be) and beautiful personal awakening, but WOW did I get a different type of unexpected awakening… A RUDE AWAKENING!
When the virus first hit, I felt the collective energy of panic, anxiety and stress. I found myself even less motivated than I had anticipated and quite frankly, just wanting to take a nap. So I did just that. I leaned in and allowed myself to rest, to get out into nature, to spend time with my dogs, and nurture my vessel. I began reading more, putting down my electronics and tuning into my emotional body. In the peaceful calm environment I was creating for myself, I noticed that I began to become anxious, thinking that I wasn’t doing enough. I watched as every wellness advocate out there quickly took to zoom calls & classes, online meditations, YouTube videos and just a plethora of amazing offerings. It seemed that the wellness industry had shifted into 5th gear over night and was taking the internet by Wellness Storm! I was so proud of and inspired by my fellow wellness allies for being so proactive and holding space for so many people out there who need support, but why was’t I feeling called to follow the pack? I was soon overwhelmed with self-judgement, limiting beliefs, and a mild case of Obsessive Comparison Disorder and/ or Social Comparison. I’m not one to attach to labels, so I use this term “Obsessive Comparison Disorder” loosely, only to point out that we as a culture have a compulsion to constantly compare ourselves, sizing our lives up to others; only to create more stress and anxiousness in our bodies and lives.
Social Comparison Theory
“Social comparison theory states that individuals determine their own social and personal worth based on how they stack up against others. People sometimes compare themselves to others as a way of fostering self-improvement, self-motivation, and a positive self-image. As a result, humans constantly evaluate themselves, and others, across domains such as attractiveness, wealth, intelligence, and success.
These evaluations can promote judgmental, biased, and overly competitive or superior attitudes. Most people have the social skills and impulse control to keep their standards for social comparison to themselves, and not to act on any envy or resentment spurred by comparison-making. But one's true feelings may manifest in other ways.” - Psychology Today
“Don’t compare your path with anybody else’s. Your path is unique to you.”
- Ram Dass
With the abundance & availability of information right at our fingertips, via social media platforms, humans have become obsessed with tuning into other’s IG profiles and lives rather than tuning into their own mind, body, soul and asking questions like, “What do I envision my life looking like ?” and “How do I better make choices that foster greater growth for my journey?” As I began to notice these anxieties creep in, I knew this wasn’t a nurturing space to stay in for long… So instead of falling prey to these limiting beliefs and emotions, by engaging and fueling them even more with nonsensical monkey mind games, I instead allowed myself to detach. I became a witness rather than a participant.
HOW DID I DO THIS, YOU ASK??
I went into a deep meditation journey and inquiry work for a couple days. I became the witness of my emotional body and not a participant with my emotional body. I watched as limiting thoughts passed through and became very interested in the root of the thought rather than the emotion attached to the thought. When you commit to being the witness of your thoughts, you essentially step out of your avatar and observe your being as it is just another person onto itself. There were thoughts of harsh criticism, judgement, comparison and a feeling of not being enough. I also noticed that my thoughts were scattered and the once clear vision I held for my offerings, had become hazy; like a thick heavy fog lingering over the ocean on a fall morning. I began to journal about the elements of my “work” that inspire me most… my passions, my joys & my loves. I prioritized the gifts that I hold within and asked myself “how can I better serve by utilizing my gifts to help and support others?”
And so the birth of the Sovess Flow Blog, finally came to fruition. I am a lover of words & writing and had previously limited myself to lengthly IG posts, to deliver my messages. During my meditation and inquiry, that this Social Comparing brought me to, I was able to begin to see clearly, also known as vidya in Sanskrit. The fog began to lift up towards the sky and just like with every thought that comes into our minds, the fog transformed into just another cloud passing by in the sky. The sun began to shine and I knew that I had come back to my center and stepped back into my light and space of self-love… MY Sovereign Essence.
“You are not your thoughts, you are the one who sees them.”
- James Whittet
10 TIPS TO GET YOU OUT OF OBSESSIVE COMPARISON DISORDER & SOCIAL COMPARING:
LIMIT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA INTAKE- Find a healthy balance of your daily does off inspiration and information.
SETTING AN INTENTION WHEN YOU ARE ENGAGING IN SOCIAL MEDIA - ie: Using the platform as a source of inspiration and not a source of comparison & depletion. Always sending love, light & support to all posts you read.
TAKE THE BEST AND LEAVE THE REST - While on social media, absorb the messages which resonate and leave the ones that do not support your growth. No need to send negative energy towards something that doesn’t land for you, just view it as a perspective &learning opportunity and then let it go when it no longer serves.
MEDITATION - Becoming the ‘witness’ not the participant of your thoughts.
INQUIRY- Asking yourself questions, to understand where your thoughts and emotions are rooted and how they came to be.
DETACHMENT- You are not your thoughts, so stop giving your thoughts the "Lead Role” in your journey.
JOURNALING - Recognizing your passions and what inspires you so that you can see clearly what you would like put your scared energy towards.
REALIZING YOUR UNIQUENESS- No two paths or beings are the same. We must discern what is in alignment with our path and not get sidetracked by the paths to the left and right of us.
TRUST IN THE PROCESS- Put in the “work” necessary, but also don’t fight the flow. Choosing what really inspires you to the core of your soul and putting your positive energy towards that. Trust that the universe has your back and absolutely wants to see you succeed.
LOVE- More self-love, less self- judgement! More love for others, less judgement towards others! Support everyone from an open compassionate heart, especially you! Always remember that YOU ARE ENOUGH!
You are a gift! Uncover your dreams & passions and share them with the world!
- Sovereign Essence
GUIDANCE & COACHING with FREE 30 MIN. ALIGNMENT CALL!
I am now offering online mindfulness/wellness coaching. If you are struggling with taking the first step out of comparison and into your power, this is for you! I provide guidance based on the teachings & practices that successfully helped me to transform my life; using meditation, breath-work, sound healing, mindfulness & ritual practices, ceremony and yoga asana. Let’s have a chat and evaluate where you are stuck and take a proactive approach to getting “un-stuck.” I am here to assist and develop a curated program specifically a-tuning to your frequency, needs, and budget! Contact me today to set up your FREE 30 minute alignment call.
BLESSINGS, LOVE & LIGHT
Namaste,
Jes